So, I have a friend who was stuck in a long-term relationship that was not good for her. She said he did not treat her well. And after almost ten years with him, she realised that “it was going nowhere.” And part of the reason it took her so long to get it over with was that she feared having to start again.
The thought of the dating process: meeting a guy- a good guy, vetting him, getting to know him and what he is all about…blah blah blah. It would take a long time to get to where she was with the ex; a place where she would be comfortable to completely open up to a new person, she said. Am sure quite a number of people out there can relate to her.
Lucky enough for her there are a number of “learning aids” available that will show her how to carefully and successfully get back in the game. Since she got into that relationship, other than her aging, a lot more had changed in the dating scene. Here’s a sample of what I… no, she has been watching and reading.
Patti Stanger – The Millionaires Matchmaker:
I have got to say, with a title like that I wondered what she was selling but when I got down to watching her DVD, I realised that she does have a viable tips, and she does not aim to serve gold-diggers (that’s what you thought, huh?). Patti’s selling point, she says, is she can get the man in your life to propose in a year, only if you follow her advice to the letter.
She breaks it down in four easy to follow segments which include clips of her before a live audience with actors on the stage to demonstrate and compare two couples. Also, she talks to a group of gents, I guess to reaffirm that what she teaches is what they like.
For starters, she is keen on observing the general rule that one should give themselves time in between relationships. She figures it gives you time to “do you”, put your interests first, rebuild your character and basically heal the wounds from the previous relationship. This way, you get into another one without bitterness and emotionally independent.
No penetration until you achieve mutual exclusivity – yup, “penetration”. I like the bit about setting standards that you expect of your partner with some being negotiable while others aren’t.
No, she is not married.
Steve Harvey – Act like a lady think like a man
Ladies if you have not read this page-turner, you must. Steve takes us through his experience in love and how he met his wife. He did not always know how to treat her but he learnt how to. And I think if she should write a book on how she got him on the straight and narrow. Best-seller right there!
The notion behind the book is to reveal to women what goes on in a man’s mind; to learn and understand them. It also teaches how to get your man to commit.
One memorable concept from the book is that of the Ford salesman analogy – “The Ninety-day rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it from your man?
Also, you have got to the love the Strawberry Letters sampled from his radio show. Ladies around the globe can relate to the issues written to him about.
Single Ladies – TV series (2011)
Remember those stories that would end like “And the moral of the story is…”? That is what comes to mind. Along with Paulo Coelho books which are in essence self-help books delivered in the fashion of inspirational stories. But that is just me, and I digress.
The light-hearted series starts off with the three main characters in relationships of sorts who at some point find themselves single and plunged into the dating scene. Even they do not present it as an ‘ok’ place to be. Anyway, the plan wasn’t to “review” the show but I think they writers are at the verge of pulling a Tyler Perry. If you have watched his movies/ plays/ shows, you will remember those sit-up moments where the characters suddenly possess a strong tone and the soundtracks take a pause- life lesson coming up. That is what shows me there is something to learn from the show. And boy, are they tough lessons.
Main actors in the show are Stacey Dash, LisaRaye McCoy, Charity Shea and one yummy D.B. Woodside.
- The ninety-day rule is universal and acceptable (Huh, boys said something?!) and depending on what you are after, it could play in your favour.
- You should give yourself time between relationships. It is for you.
- There is no such thing as being ‘alone’. Some people of those happy holding-hands-walking-into-the-sunset couples feel more ‘alone’ than Adam was before Eve’s arrival.
Pssst… Ever wondered why is being single looked down upon? And what is it with the question: why is a good (or beautiful –I get this one a lot, ahem!) person like you doing ‘alone’? Go sit in a corner, will ya?
Yup, I just had to 🙂